MEET COMPASSIONATE CAREPARTNER LAURA

I became a caregiver for my husband in August 2009 when he was first diagnosed with Stage IIIC colorectal cancer. Due to complications, he could not finish adjuvant chemo- only 4 of 12 rounds. Just recommended surveillance and followed by an oncologist. Fast forward to 2014, single colorectal cancer lung metastasis and new primary breast cancer were discovered on PET after rising CEA despite clear scans three months prior. Surgery to remove both. The best minds of leading NCI cancer centers said to treat breast cancer as it had aggressive HER2 gene. Complications again discontinued adjuvant chemo. Fast forward 18 months, and new colon cancer mets were found in both lungs. My husband hopped on the chemo for life train with the mind set that we would be treating a chronic illness. He actually started with what some call maintenance chemo due to his previous adverse reactions. Life was humming along but in early 2018 progression occurred in lungs and lymph nodes and things became more difficult with side effects and uncertainty.

   I reached out for support on another Stage IV colorectal FB site and my superhero Marie Sander told me about COLONTOWN. It was life changing. I was warmly embraced by another superhero Michele Leslie and welcomed into a group of caregivers who understood what I was experiencing. I was amazed by the immediate support and wealth of knowledge from this online community of disease specific and emotional support neighborhoods. I soon developed the confidence and knowledge to be a better advocate for my husband and be an informed participant in discussions with his medical team. I found a safe space with other caregivers to share my fears and made friends I didn’t know I needed. I started to navigate the world of clinical trials with help from brilliant members and real life outcomes of patients.

   Sadly my husband died from this disease on 12/6/2019. It was the wonderful caregivers in CAREPARTNER COVE who were there for me in the darkest days leading up to my husband’s death. Needing to find purpose in my grief, I participated in a virtual EPL in July 2020 and became a host in CAREPARTNERS COVE shortly thereafter with another superhero Betsy Post and Rachel Buckstein Topper (another superhero imo). I was then asked to be the Community Leader which I humbly accepted.

   Stage IV Caregiving is very hard. Balancing the caregiving role with the role you used to be as a partner, sibling or parent before cancer is very challenging. Anticipatory grief rears its ugly head robbing joy in the present but that it is a normal reaction. Just don’t stay there. I try to impart on our caregivers to live the best possible life with their loved one at that moment. Find the joy even if it is fleeting and to take care of your own mental and physical health.